Slowly coming to a close...

I've started the slow process of weaning Asher and soon I'll be hanging up my flanges for the 2nd last time. I'm ready for some uninterrupted time with my boys but with it comes a great sadness as this chapter of a mother's life is ending. After months of feeling like a failure for not being able to nurse, I've made my peace with it. I felt like a failure, which was in reality, grief. I have since made my peace with it, continued to exclusively pump, and will soon bring out a can of formula with the cute little scoop. Breastfeeding with a bottle has been a precious gift that I was able to give both  my babies that some women were not able to do. I hear a lot of nursing mothers talk about the loss of bonding if you don't breastfeed but I don't find that to be true. Maybe holding a bottle is a little less natural looking than nursing. But as I hold a bottle to his hungry lips, I cradle my baby tightly to my body with his chubby legs draped over my lap. He stares deep into my eyes and my heart practically screams of love. It is a fierce bond and I soak it in every moment I can.