I found out that I'm going to have a little girl this October and we are all so excited! But this isn't your ordinary excitement, it goes beyond that. I hardly know how to describe how I feel besides being in awe.
A year and half ago, I climbed into the shower and it was there that God chose to speak to me (thank goodness it wasn't while I was on the toilet!). As soon as the water hit me, He began to bring many things to my attention and connected the recent months together like a puzzle.
Over the past several months prior, in my alone time with God, He was sharing with me the utmost importance of passing on our spiritual heritage to the next generation. Sounds weird I know but stay with me. What God teaches us in our lifetime is meant to be shared with the next generation for them to carry so that they can bring that to the next generation along with what God has taught them. So on and so forth. That way instead of each generation starting from ground zero, we keep continually passing on our "spiritual heritage" so to speak. Am I making sense? Can you imagine what 10 generations of passing on and receiving God's revelation would be like? These Christ followers would blow us out of the water!
Along with that, I was really searching for a woman's purpose in God's kingdom. I guess you could say that I was and still am, fed up with the little box that Christian woman are often placed in. Like we're only good for doing children's church and nursery or having a quaint woman's group who crafts on Wednesdays. My soul cries out for the warrior woman who is a force to be reckoned with! The woman who is unafraid to be used mightily and powerfully in the Church and who God uses as a vessel to speak through. To awaken the prayer warriors and awesome healers who play an equal part in God's Kingdom! I could go on but then I feel like I'd need a platform....
My heart was beating out of my chest as God was downloading and piecing together everything and in the midst of it all, He said that I was to have a girl to speak life into. She would be used mightily and it was absolutely necessary that I pass on any knowledge or wisdom into her life.
God spoke my daughter into existence long before I was even pregnant or even thinking about being pregnant again. Let me say it again....He spoke my daughter into existence before she was even born. Jeremiah 1:5 will forever hold a new meaning for me. Even as the I read the verse, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you..." it feels like a dead weight because the meaning is so heavy on my heart.
I wish I could say that I stood firm until the end, keeping the faith that I heard correctly but I am human and doubted several times. A year and a half is a long time to wait on God's promises. But thoughts like,"Did God mean a biological daughter? Maybe adoptive? Spiritual?" would often run through my head. Of course nobody wants to look like a fool when they've heard wrong. But I did walk into the doctor's office this morning with complete faith that I was having a girl. After my sonogram, for a moment I felt like a fool for ever doubting but mostly I am in awe of God's faithfulness.
